Medical Marijuana review: Planet of the Grapes

Surely, the first question anyone would ask about a strain called Planet of the Grapes is “Will I violently scream at it, ‘Get your vines off me you damn, dirty grapes!’?” No? That’s not what you want to know? You want to know if it smells like grapes. Well, sort of. It doesn’t smell at all like actual grapes, but its scent is highly evocative of artificial grape; you know, like grape Kool-Aid or popsicles. It smells like that straight out of the bag. When vaping, it may smell slightly less like unsupervised childhood…yet it still smells faux grapelike.

I was in a heightened, anxious state when I first vaped and smoked, one after the other, Planet of the Grapes. Knowing it was an indica-dominant hybrid, my hope was that it would chill my ass out, so I gave myself a double dose (unusual for me when reviewing a new strain). I cannot say it chilled me out specifically, but it did shift me over into a positive frame of mind that helped immensely.

Stepping out into the blistering heat and sunshine from the confines of my comparatively dark, cool home was surely another factor. Someday I will look back on the MMJ reviews I wrote this summer, and it will jolt me back to this global heatwave (assuming, dog forbid, this is not the new norm, and I’m not willing to place bets that it isn’t). I know folks in England who bought an air conditioner for the first time. Unless you’re hibernating in a cave, the heat is a big part of your psyche; this climate is part and parcel of our collective high in this July of 2022. For me, cannabis has been a tool in making the heat more tolerable.

Planet of the Grapes sent my mind racing in the best kind of way. That 30% sativa from within this hybrid shows up to do its part. My trip into the local CVS to pick up a few staples was good, clean fun. Wearing a bucket hat, sunglasses, a printed button-up shirt and shorts on what would have been Hunter S. Thompson’s 85th birthday, I aimed for a “Fear and Loathing at the Pharmacy” adventure. Aim high when you are high. The woman working behind the counter informed me that I “don’t like to do self-checkout.” It surprised me that I stood out enough for her to have catalogued this information, and then I proceeded to (again, it seems) rant about the inefficiency of the self-checkout station at CVS (or indeed any retail establishment). I’ve got enough fuel in that tank to last for years to come.

Finally, my afternoon trek with Planet of the Grapes through the dry, cracked Outer Worlds took me to Natural Grocers (which, by the way, is a good place to buy CBD). If you have never had the Hatch Green Chili Hummus Wrap from their cooler section, you are missing out on one of the great quick lunches. The hummus is as smooth as the hatch’s kick is intense. It has bite, and so it seems does Planet of the Grapes.

Planet of the Grapes is an Indica-leaning hybrid. Its terpene profile includes Myrcene, Caryophyllene, and Humulene.

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